Girl About Globe | Political Football

Linda Kennedy

Why has the picture agency Getty been in trouble during the World Cup? 

They created a gallery of photos of attractive female fans. Their post, ‘The hottest fans at the #WorldCup’, was later deleted, as was the gallery.

In my head, I heard a feminist football commentary: ‘And here it comes, the Getty agency, a star performer. Oh no. It’s just taken a tumble after some weak footwork.  Can’t see the name and number on the back of its shirt but I don’t think it’s Me2.’ 

The defence by Getty was a rendition of ‘sorry, ref, didn’t mean it’.

‘Earlier, we published a piece, ‘World Cup 2018: The Sexiest Fans’, that did not meet our editorial standards. We regret the error and have removed the piece. There are many interesting stories to tell about the World Cup and we acknowledge this was not one of them.’

Is this enough? It makes me want to turn ‘Kiss Cam’ into ‘Sis Cam’. Have it scan the crowd and stop on sisters – feminists not blood relatives – in thick cardigans, the opposite of skimpy attire. The women wearing them are certain to be the hottest. 

I don’t know much about football. I didn’t realise there were whistleblowers outside the news pages, though sometimes I quite like the songs – it’s rare to see so many men voluntarily forming a choir. (If local choirs feel they don’t get enough deep voices, they might consider adding football lyrics to classical music to boost enrolment of men. Yes, Beethoven’s Third really is a symphony on missing out on the top two in the Premier League. Sonata No 14 is a piece on the jersey of Johan Cruyff and Thierry Henry.)

But it seems as though football is getting more feminist. Or less un-feminist. The term WAGS, standing for wives and girlfriends, has been damned by Rebakah Vardy, who is married to England striker, Jamie Vardy. “WAG is a dated term because we’re not defined by what our husbands do. We’re individuals,” said R Vardy.

I’m all for running with this enlightened mood in the game. Some say there should be more female commentators. Me, I think we need more female TV camera operators – on top of ‘Sis Cam’ – to show women seizing football traditions and owning them. Lots of shots, please, of women who haven’t shaved their armpits together on the stand doing the Thunderclap.

Remaining – most unusually – with sport, Donald Trump is thought likely to head to Scotland to play golf after meeting British Prime Minister Theresa May next week, controversially costing Scottish police millions as protests are expected.  He has two golf courses – one at Turnberry, Ayrshire, and another in the north of Scotland, in Aberdeenshire. His hopes of making the resorts more alluring to Americans are already apparent, with the naming of one course the King Robert the Bruce. Locals expect the ponds to be filled with whisky and sand to be replaced by shortbread crumbs in the bunkers.

I’m looking forward to new content in his tweets. Scotland has a debate over fox numbers, and controlling them. Surely there’s a blog called Fox News, which comes down against the use of guns. That would bewilder him.

And what if the local paper in Aberdeen reports thunderstorms predicted for the UK?

@realDonaldTrump tweet:

Fake News Press and Journal says Stormy Here. UNTRUE!

Or what if Ayrshire’s newpaper were to wonder if Trump’s Scottish attackers might include midges, tiny biting insects:

@realDonaldTrump tweet:

The failing Ayr Advertiser suggests Trump has a problem with small flies. There is no problem. I assure you.