Leanda Lee
There are some real jokers in our community but other people who don’t, can’t, won’t see the beyond the apparent intent. Offense taken, it’s sometimes difficult to ignore – and a particular Facebook post this week was certainly difficult for many to ignore, and that’s where it got interesting.
The offending advertisement in a community group page was for the sale of ‘Weed’ in Taipa with a picture of something reminiscent of Chinese tea in a Ziploc bag. The quality, said to be from the Netherlands, was guaranteed (if memory serves me correctly, as the Facebook posts have now been judiciously removed). Putting aside the goal of the post, – my guess is we have a provocateur rather than a criminal – the responses were an almost perfect case-study in human communication. An active Facebook member who also happens to one of the most staunch anti-drug activists and campaigners in Macau, founder of a drug-abusers’ association that runs rehabilitation units, invited to be a member of the Narcotics Control Commission of the Macau Government, Youth Drug Commission and the AIDS Prevention and Control Commission, and the Commission of the Working Group for the Execution and Follow up of the New Drug Laws of the Macau Government was the first to post, reacting as one would expect of someone of his calibre and dedication to the war against drugs: single-minded attack, “Do you know this is a criminal offense?” Then there were the incredulous responses of those taking the post at face value and believing the guy to be either ignorant or moronic. Once those who had knowledge about the poster’s posting proclivities and other recent Facebook activity in the community started to comment: “Well, after all, we’re illegally on-selling show tickets on-line, too!” enough hints came to light to suggest it might not be for real.
What is communicated to us is inevitably distorted by our own assumptions, which we rarely test unless for our own benefit. This is particularly so here, in Macau, where the desire for even feigned harmony and lack of conflict deters the face-to-face interaction and questioning necessary to get the facts right and clear away misunderstanding. Is it the communicator’s job to ensure we communicate as intended or the receiver’s job to test assumptions? We seem happier to stay ignorant convinced of our own prejudices and perspectives than test them through enquiry and potential confrontation. The dog-with-a-bad name syndrome seems harder to overcome here: it takes a certain generosity of spirit and courage to change biases against others particularly if those preconceptions fulfil our own purposes.
Culture and history are part of those distortions. The picture of a child holding a parasol for his teacher touched a raw nerve in China but a different nerve elsewhere. The Associated Press (MDT May 6) reported that the Baoshan district education bureau in Shanghai made a statement reminding teachers that they must “discipline themselves and care for their students.” The article explained that “Chinese officials have long had the privilege of having underlings hold umbrellas to shield them from the elements, but the practice — once seen as a symbol of status — has been derided by people who see it as an act of arrogance indicative of an authoritarian regime.” Without knowledge of that cultural and historical baggage we would likely view that child as having been brought up to be kind, considerate and respectful towards his elders, and indicative of a caring, positive relationship between student and teacher.
These incidents and the fog in perspective created by personality, character, circumstance, history and culture, reminded me of another such poignant occasion, which prompted a quote by Tennessee Williams: “Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see… each other in life.” And thus it continues, “Vanity, fear, desire, competition – all such distortions within our own egos – condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other.”
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