Healing what was never spoken

Ricaela Diputado

There is a plethora of things not taught in school and simply expected to be learned through real-life experiences. The term “street smarts” stems from exactly that – going out into society without being informed of social norms and how to “read a room.”

We have all been in situations where we think to ourselves: Was I wrong to react that way, or what did I do to upset this person? Emotions are complex, so complex that sometimes it is hard to find the right words to express oneself without being inaccurate, yet we are only taught the simple ones in education systems: happy, sad, angry, excited.

But what about pride, guilt, shame, and insecurity? Most of us experience these unexpectedly at a young age and were never taught how to process them, which carries over into adulthood, affecting self-esteem and how we navigate life.

This emotional illiteracy is especially damaging in Macau, where traditional Chinese school systems prioritize academic achievement over emotional expression.

Many young people learn to suppress rather than articulate their feelings, leaving them unseen and unheard. Perhaps if education systems provided proper mental health classes, we would raise a more empathetic generation.

Data from local authorities paints a grim picture.

In 2025, 91 suicides were recorded in Macau – one of the highest numbers ever in a city of only 689,000 residents.

In the first half of that year alone, 30 suicide attempts occurred in the 15-to-24 age bracket. These are not just statistics; they are young people who slipped through a system that never taught them how to ask for help. Health officials acknowledge that stigma remains the most significant barrier to seeking psychiatric support, as residents fear being labeled “mentally weak.”

Work culture is now testing what Generation Z will tolerate.

Parents from Generation X or the Baby Boomer generation might not realize that the emotional baggage they chose not to unpack will inevitably fall onto those who come after them.

This generational divide is becoming increasingly prevalent in local families. The stigma around mental health is often reduced to either “suck it up, you’re an adult” or “why didn’t you say anything before?” Too often, a young local takes their own life, and only then do parents reach out – when it is already too late.

Denial goes hand in hand with pride.

Parents sometimes think providing a roof, food, and clothes is enough, but that is the basic requirement of a parent, not the foundation of a bond. Truly connecting with loved ones means being heard and understood.

Many households lack emotional openness, which can affect work life, friendships, relationships, and society at large.

The Health Bureau’s 2026 health survey includes questions on anxiety and psychological well-being. Despite a network of support, psychiatric specialists, and trained doctors, many remain reluctant to seek help, trapped by the stigma that keeps them silent.

So how do we self-regulate? It starts at home, from the examples set by leaders, because children, we copy behavior.

Now, as Generation Z stands as adults, we start with ourselves, reversing old ways – which takes time and immense patience.

There is no need to blame yourself or those you learned from; they probably went through things they simply did not know how to communicate. Healing begins when we speak what was never spoken, listen without judgment, and break the cycle for those who come after us.