Girl About Globe | Windsors v Weibo

Linda Kennedy

So what now? I suggest Harry and Meghan go on a Royal Tour of China. A trade mission, or a piece of activism for the UK.

The reason is this: the Chinese were less frenzied about the Royal Wedding than, frankly, the rest of the world. ‘We’ve seen more extravagant weddings of Chinese celebrities’ was a recurring comment. When it’s Windsors versus Weibo, apparently the British Royals don’t win out.

Fine, you might reply. China has its own celebs. Does anyone think there needs to be a crossover?

Here, let me say ‘I do’. China is touted as a big trade hope for the UK, post-Brexit, and the Royals are brand ambassadors for ‘UK plc’. Harry and Meghan are the youngest and coolest so, if Chinese millennials aren’t interested, Britain’s future greatness is truly in peril.

Consider, let’s, the facts that might be putting Chinese millennials off this Royal fairytale.

The proposal, for a start. At home, over chicken? There’s a tradition of creative question-popping in China. Men ask for a woman’s hand by arranging luxury cars in a heart shape. Or by spelling out their proposal in lychees. Or by dressing as Superman and being hoisted by a crane to then be lowered towards their intended, bearing The Question and balloons (this happened, really).

Harry and Meghan’s proposal story needs a few tweaks targeting a China audience. ‘At home, over chicken? Well, yes, but we happened to be watching a South Korean drama on TV at the same time. And did we mention it was gong bao chicken?’

Perhaps Prince Harry is not enough of a catch for China. In a world of billionaires, being sixth in line for anything may not be enough to impress.

Yet the auburn-haired lad has a big card to play. In China, the offspring of important politicians or business leaders are given elite status. He could twist that – and call himself Britain’s Red Prince.

Perhaps Meghan’s sense of style thus far is an issue? If only she had carried Furla’s this season ‘Hello Kitty’ handbag to the evening reception. Time for her to share some Chinese fashion passions.

Or is the lethargy towards the Sussexes the dividend of Communism’s social policies? If you’ve been a little emperor since you were born, any other title is practically a demotion.

Let’s now think how a ‘Meghan and Harry Royal Tour to China’ could trigger some love.  Some suggestions:

The best bet in China these days is the overseas luxury travel market. Before going, persuade Granny to open up parts of Windsor Castle during Golden Week, and, when in China, be sure to do a roadshow telling everyone about this brand new Ancient Exclusive Personal Deluxe Tiara Tour. Equerry included.

Forget visiting tourist sites like the Terracotta Army. Go to places where there are many more followers  – Weibo. Meet the biggest influencers, with millions in their adoring legions.

Do something linked with Singles Day, on 11/11, the monumental online shopping event. Say, become a smartphone model.  Oppo is the Guangdong-based brand that targets young consumers with trendy phones. How about the Oppo Harry –with a virtual assistant that has a posh British accent. Or the Honor Meg: which comes with a well-cut case by Clare Waight Keller at Givenchy, and 8% of your bill is donated to charities chosen by Markle.

Mind you. Unless The Queen, or the British government, taps the couple on the shoulder to do this, they might keep quiet about the Chinese level of interest. Is the Chinese mainland somewhere for them to escape to? That delayed honeymoon: a week in Chongqing?